If this is your first time playing with roleplay, lean into something that already feels authentic to you and how you like to express yourself sexually.

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For example:

• If you love giving massages - pretend you’re a massage therapist giving an erotic massage
• If you love taking the lead - try a power play dynamic (E.g. you’re a doctor, they’re the patient)
• If you love surrendering control - let them take the lead (E.g. pretend its your first time having sex & they are showing you what to do)
• If you love being playful - try a role where you can laugh/be silly (E.g. naughty schoolgirl/boy)

Unleash your imagination, get inspired and let your creative juices flow!

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Watch porn, erotic films, sexy TV shows.

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Read smut, erotic fiction, fan fiction and non-fiction sex education guides.

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Listen to podcasts, audio erotica, audio porn, etc.

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Write down your fantasies, erotic stories, and desires. Be as detailed as you can. What’s hot for you? Why?!

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Talk about all the above! Get curious about what’s hot for each of you and what ‘roles’ you’d each enjoy.

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This will give you an idea of what sort of things turn you on and provide great inspiration for the moment.

Yes sometimes roleplay can be elaborate – with characters, names, outfits and even scripts. And sometimes planning the scene is a huge part

of the fun!

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But it doesn’t need to be!

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If this is new to you, start really simple. And remember:

• Silence is ok! - It can build anticipation & tension (you don’t need to fill every gap with dialogue!)
• You don’t need words - Lean into a roleplay where being quiet or not speaking is PART of the fun (E.g. ‘we have to be quiet or somebody will hear us’ or leaning into your more primal/animalistic side)
• Blindfolds can reduce awkwardness - if you’re trying to step into a Dom/sub dynamic, perhaps try a blindfold! It might help you both relax and lean into it.

As always when trying something new, it’s a great idea to have a pre-agreed safe word so you can keep checking in with each other and ensure you are both having a great time.

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This is particularly important for any rpleplay where you are playing with power.

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I always like the traffic light system:

Green - This is fun/hot – keep going!

Orange - I’m getting to the edge of my comfort zone (consider having a chat about what you’re both needing to ‘feel more green’ about)

Red - Stop

Once you’ve got an idea you’re both really excited by, here are some ideas to help you get into (and stay in!) the right frame of mind:

• Rituals - think about the person/character/scene you are about to embody. What would help you get into that headspace? It might be things like power to feel more confident, a shower to help wash away the stress of the day, etc.
• Clothes - Is there an outfit, lingerie, or scent that will help you stay in role and feel amazing?
• Names - Could you give yourselves names to help you stay in character? A well placed ‘Sir’ can go a very long way to keep you both in the moment!
• Set the scene - Make the environment as pleasurable as possible and in line with the energy you want – think music, candles, sex toys, etc., and make sure condoms and lube are easy to reach!

People who are embarrassed by the idea of roleplay are usually worried about saying/doing the wrong thing, getting self conscious, or doing something that their partner doesn’t find hot.

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And look, we can’t get it right every time! You’re trying a new thing (which always feels scary!) and what turns them on will sometimes be different to what you think!

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Learn to laugh in these moments – we are all learning right?! And you never know – they might actually love it! We don't know until we try.

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It's also why it's important to chat after sex, and let your partner know if they said anything that you didn't like or that was a turn off for you.

First time - Imagine it’s the first time you are having sex or on your first date again. Feel that excited, nervous energy and explore & discover your erotic bodies with fresh eyes.

Predator/Prey - tap into your primal, animalistic sides and enjoy the thrill of the chase in a game of predator/prey. Chase, play fight, growl, bite, and enjoy getting wild.

Massage therapist - Imagine you are getting a delicious professional massage that gets more and more erotic. Enjoy the naughtiness, taboo and slow build of arousal.

Power Dynamic - If you’re turned on by power dynamics, try role-playing different authority and subordinate relationships (E.g. doctor and patient).