Complete my free yes / no / maybe Sexual Bucket list PDF and show each other. Learn new things to try!

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Yes: Thinks I know I love in the bedroom / turn ons

No: Things I don’t want to try / things I don’t like / my boundaries

Maybe: Things I’m curious about if we chat about it first

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Chat about a new fantasy / maybe, and schedule a time to do it!

Sex is many things. Stop seeing it as just penetration.  There is SO much more out there.

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“Foreplay” is not just the starter course. It can be the entire meal.

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Being great in bed is a skill. Learn new things, go to classes/workshops/festivals, and book in a session with me. Have a fun, curious mindset.

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Learn and talk about new new ways to connect erotically. Tantra, kink, role play, erotic massage, writing erotica...

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Savour and take your time with each other. Arousal takes time to build.

Are you having sexy with your partner… or using them to relieve your needs?  Know the difference, feel the difference, and they will too.

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People have sex for lots of reasons; To feel pleasure, relieve stress, or for self expression. Make sure you‘re also prioritising connection: Open your eyes. Read their body language. Look in their eyes. Talk. Make noise. Stay present.

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Sex is somewhere you go together - not somewhere you feel alone.

If you‘re only having sex when you‘re exhausted it’s not surprising you have fallen into a sexual rut.

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When we are tired we have less creativity & energy and it’s much harder for arousal to build. Not to mention what a turn off it is when somebody yawns during sex!

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Lazy sex (also known as slow sex) can be amazing, but it shouldn’t be the ONLY way of being intimate.

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Some ideas:

• Go to bed an hour earlier so you have time to connect first
• Try morning sex
• Schedule sex - e.g. at the weekend
• Learn new ways to have low energy or slow sex sex - e.g. tantra, using a toy or vibrator, sensual erotic massage, lying down 69.

Toys are part of the team (not your competition or only partner!)  Sex toys are a fun, healthy part of a couples sex life. They can really contribute to spicing up routine sex.

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They add variety, new sensations, playfulness, and a really welcome helping hand when we need it.

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They are not just for women / people with vulvas. Sex toys can be enjoyed by everyone -no matter what your sexuality or your sex or gender. Everything from vibrators, to anal play , to cock-rings. There truly are toys for everyone.

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Don’t be threatened or intimidated, and don‘t become over reliant on them. Toys are just another erotic tool at your disposal. Just like your hands, voice, eyes and genitals are your tools too.

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If you need help finding your perfect next purchase - book in a session! I am full of recommendations.

After sex, get in the habit of chatting about:

• What was hot for you
• What you’re curious to try next
• Anything that would have made it even better

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This doesn’t need to be a long conversation - it can be as simple as “what was your fave bit?”, “More of that!” “That felt incredible!”

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Constantly talk about each other’s turn ons, turn offs, desires and fantasies. Our eroticism is always evolving. Couples that talk about sex more are more likely to keep have great sex - even in a long term relationship.

Self pleasure does not replace sex, and sex does not replace masturbation. They are BOTH important.

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Differences in how we masturbate often contribute to different needs during sex. For example:

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If he masturbates with a firm, fast grip in the shower = enjoys hard, fast, deep penetration when standing (e.g. doggy)

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If she grinds her clit slowly against a pillow on her belly = enjoys being on her front with circular grinding motions & minimal/no thrusting

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Show your partner how you masturbate, do it together, and teach them what you need. And try more variety when you’re alone to teach your body new tricks!

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Good luck on your journey to sexual well-being!